There are days where discouragement and disillusionment seem to form a dense fog around us. Our weary hearts struggle to make sense of the world around us, desperate for clarity, or at least a little relief. At these times, taking a step forward can be both terrifying and exhausting. Even making it out of the door in the morning feels like a huge feat. We understand what David meant when he wrote that his tears had become his food.

The circumstances of these type of heavy days are, in a word, daunting. Opposition, isolation, loss or disappointment can be incredibly challenging. The pain in real; the tears are justified.

Take heart, dear saints, if you find yourself in such a season. Our cries of desperation are met with mercy; our pleas are answered with lovingkindness.

Nothing Lost

This Psalm, like many others, gives us invaluable insight as we journey with the Lord. David’s outpouring of emotion shows us that it’s okay to struggle with God. We can ask the Lord tough questions, unpack the entirety of our pain, and tell Him about the things that we fear. There is blessing and strength as we come before the Lord in the fullness of our raw emotion, just like David did.

Setting our pain and fear before the Lord might be done through journaling or shouting or crying or running or just sitting still – or maybe even a combination of those things. Whatever it looks like, taking time to sit before God in authentic, even if uncomfortable, dialogue is critical for our hearts. It opens our hearts to the work of the Spirit.

Though it may not seem like it, these times in the secret place can be the most powerful. Nothing is lost before the Lord. His Father heart beats with enduring love as He gently collects our every tear. Never will He allow His children to be trampled by darkness or broken by heaviness. Instead, God blesses our desperation with intimacy.

Deep Calls To Deep

The process of meeting the Lord at the very bottom of life’s pit is mapped out in Psalm forty two. The passage begins with a bold declaration:

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

At first glance, this verse might seem exciting. It would be easy to romanticize David’s words as if they are a picture of what zealous devotion and spiritual passion look like. That type of intense dedication to God is certainly beautiful and important. However, the context of this Psalm doesn’t match with that type of heart posture. David isn’t writing about an excited hunger to seek God. He is sharing some of the pain he is experiencing and his critical need for the strength and comfort of the Lord’s Presence.

His cry for breakthrough sets the stage for the rest of the Psalm. Verse by verse, David pours out His frustration, pain, and fear. Then, the focus shifts.

David speaks above the persistence of his pain to declare a powerful truth:

Deep calls to deep.

This phrase is poetic, yes, but it is also profound. In those five words, David illustrates the way that God draws us ever closer to His heart. Stepping into intimacy with God not only allows us to see, know and love Him better, it also creates a desire to see, know and love Him even more. The more we encounter Him, the more that we want to encounter Him. Those deep places in the secret place beckon us to journey deeper still.

Remember, David didn’t write these words out of some exciting peak of spiritual formation. He wrote them in the midst of His pain. This shows us that the opportunity to journey into places of even greater depth of intimacy with God is available even when our hearts feel broken and angry.

It’s one thing to say that, and it’s another thing to actually press into it. Pain can be crippling. Fear can feel immobilizing. But even when our hearts feel completely devastated, He is willing and able to guide us from glory to glory. All we have to do is follow David’s example of placing the entirety of our hearts before God.

If your unsure of where to begin, meditating on this Psalm might be a good place to start. Still your heart before God and ask for His Presence to fill the room. Then read through the passage a time or two. Pay particular attention to words or phrases that resonate with your heart. Ask the Lord to come and speak to your heart in the midst of those very words. Continue to press in and ask God to lead your heart from depth to depth. Ask the Lord to reach beyond your circumstances and encounter your heart with new, deep revelations of Christ. As you do, focus intently on His voice. Lean into what He says until the consuming, magnificent beauty of the Son becomes greater than the weight of fear or disappointment.

There is depth, dear saints, even and especially in the midst of the broken. Allow the God of Glory to lead you to the place where proximity gives way to intimacy over and over again. It is the very place where your heart will come to life.