One of the greatest sources of joy for me has been my family. They are loving and kind; I know they always have my best interest at heart. Regardless of the situation or circumstance, I know they will love me and act with my best interest at heart. And yet, as wonderful as my family is, not every moment or conversation has been easy or joyful. There have been moments when the people I love most have been the cause of deep hurt and disappointment. Processing through that sorrow is not always easy, but it is immensely important if we are going to be proactive about building strong, healthy and vibrant family relationships.

The importance of working through the pain, disappointment and anger that may arise from family dynamics starts first and foremost with own selves, or rather dying to ourselves. The Lord desires that our hearts would become reflections of His Son (1 Cor 11:1). In this, He intends our hearts would be full of grace hope and love. Knowing that love, for example, is good, patient, kind, and hopeful, my heart is aware that this type of heart posture is often far removed from the reality of my actions (1 Cor 13:4). Thus, there is a process of transformation that our hearts, or at least my heart, must go through.

Family members are powerful ushers of this transformation. Typically, they are familiar with us, knowing exactly where our buttons are and just how to push them. Often, too, they know how to encourage our hearts and bring gentle words of comfort. By this, family members can usher in realization of the areas in which our hearts and characters can grow while, hopefully, offering encouragement along the way. By this, we can effectively die to our flesh and be renewed by the transforming of our minds, eventually becoming reflections of the beauty of our King (1 Cor 9:27).

Going beyond the process of personal transformation that can result from walking through life with our families, the Lord’s heart and blessing reside over families. He created and designed families: He thoughtfully knit each one of us together in our mothers’ wombs, created a structure for protection and blessing, and even calls himself our Father (Gen 1:28) (Ps 139:13) (Matt 6:9). With abounding wisdom and endless grace, the Lord has established families. When we align our hearts in hope and love with our families, we are free to receive a multitude of good gifts from the Lord. Peace, understanding, wisdom, strength, and provision are just a few of the riches that the Lord lavishes upon us through living well with our families as we seek the Lord (Prov 14:30) (Prov 4) (Prov 12:11). Truly then, families can have a significant impact no only on our character, but also on the blessings in our lives.

The impact that families can have is not limited only to ourselves or our family members though. Families can be powerful conduits of ministry to bring the Kingdom to earth. Healthy and thriving families are in and of themselves dynamic and actives testimonies to the goodness of the Lord. Our actions and relationships with our families can, therefore, be a powerful testimony to the goodness and grace of God (James 2:14-17). Salvation, healing, and evangelism can be facilitated by families so that the environment of heaven comes to earth.

As families work together to pull down on the atmosphere of heaven, it is integral that they dream together. By dreaming together as families, courage and faith are strengthened as they journey together toward the fulfillment of their common dreams. These dreams ought to be active, and big, and wild (1 Kings 18).

Furthermore, as a family dreams together with the Lord and works toward the fulfillment of those dreams under the direction of the Holy Spirit, a value for dreaming is taught to children and youth (Prov 22:6). This builds a legacy of dreaming. Generation after generation are raised to understand the exciting and valuable reality of what it is to dream with the Lord. It is in this type of family reality that the blessings and favor of the Lord are best able to flow and operate.

While this type of family structure and value is certainly biblical, it is often not a reality that many of us live in. People are messy, so family can be messy too. For some, family life is broken and painful. In the midst of this type of family dynamic, it is central that we seek the Lord. Knowing that He is our Perfect Father, we can come to Him and receive healing and encouragement (Isa 41:10) (Jer 30:17). This will then give us a soft and humble heart to see our family members the way the the Lord does. Adopting His perspective as our own, we can then stand with hope in the place of intercession on behalf of our family members and relationships with them. Through the pain and difficulty, though, He is there, holding our hands and leading us as His children.

With a deep and steadfast knowledge of the Love of the Father, we can walk forward in hope for our families. Positioning our hearts to see the Lord on how He sees and values family will enable us to operate in the fullness of blessing and provision that He holds for families. And so, Dear Saints, I urge you to dialogue with the Lord about your family and begin dreaming with them. Where there is hurt or disfunction, let Him come and bring alignment. But most importantly, as Him how He sees you as His child and how you can walk in evermore in strength, obedience, and nearness to Him.